My struggles.

I started to count down since Nov 07. Responsibility is getting heavier.. personal time and space is getting narrower as time goes by, as experiences is piling up.. I know this is going to come.. but this is worse than what everyone expected it to be..
Looking at my count down chart, i am hardly half way through.. i have another 10 months. I tried not to think about it. Each time i look at this chart, my heart grows heavier, my motivation starts to die down.
God, when is this going to end? Is this really what you want me to go through? All the way? Like this? Should i start to demand a change? Is it time yet? Will it happen just as i planned?
Tell me.
If it is your will to get me out of here, please by all means, let it happen.
If it is your will to let me stay, then please grant me the supernatural strength to pull through these.. the supernatural ability to keep the fire burning.
I choose to believe and trust that your timing, is not too late, not too early, it will be just nice.
Today, i acknowledge You in all these, and trust that you will guide me through.
Today, i acknowledge You as my Creator, the author of my life.