Unexplainable emotions...

This morning I attended my boss's mum's funeral in Klang.

It's my first time attending christian funeral. I still have fresh memories of my grandmother, grandfather & daddy's funerals which happened in a span of a year 10 years ago... those were buddhism & taoism style. After I accepted Christ, I've been wondering how a christian funeral will be like. In the car, I was silent, in my mind was all the flashbacks, I miss him a lot, and I know she misses him a lot more than we all could've imagined...my tears were forming in my eyes, only they didn't flow down my cheeks. I said a silent prayer, "God, help me to behave myself today. Whatever I say or do, may you be the one who guide me, I don't want to do anything stupid or make me look stupid."

We arrived, said hi to my boss. She seemed ok. Telling us how God has given her mum 1 week time of miraculously good health where she had so many visitors, pastors & elders prayed for her, relatives chatting with her etc. When she left, no one was there. I guess it's good that no one saw her final moments? So all the memories stopped at the happy ones? :) Saw her in the coffin, boss say she's at peace, she looked like she's at peace. Boss didn't look emotional. So I was cool. ;)

Sat down when the pastor gave a short sermon. Hokkien sermon. Another first time. I'm glad I could understand 70% of it!

Pastor mentioned about sending people off at the airport. We all worry whether the airplane is safe, and whether there're people at another airport to pick them up? And anxiously wait for the call to assure us that they have arrived safely? It's the same when we deal with deaths of our loved ones. Only difference is they won't call to tell us whether they've arrived safely.

Pastor then asked us this question "Where does the dead go to?" Silence.

Pastor said, "I have no answer either. But, I can share with you answers I found in the bible."

No. 1, in Ecc 3:21 "Who knows if the spirit of man rises upward and if the spirit of the animal [c] goes down into the earth?"

No. 2, John John 14:1-3 "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am."

No. 3, in Luke 23, when Jesus nailed on the cross, there were 2 criminals nailed on his left and right too. One of them said to Him, "Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom." Jesus answered him, "I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise."

I was so impressed by this message, and I was nodding along and told myself "you cannot forget this". Jesus is the answer, He is the way... He is the resurrection
and the life. He who believes in Christ will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in Christ will never die. I wish my mummy could hear this. I wish, my daddy could give us a call to say "Hey, I followed Jesus and I'm now in heaven. It's so awesome here. Remember to follow Jesus so you can join me too!"

After sermon, we lined up to walk pass the coffin and send formal condolences to the family. When I was in the line, I saw my boss tearing, oh no, my tears became out of control and I found myself crying instantly. I couldn't say anything, just hugged my boss.. and covered my mouth & nose with left hand, quickly put on my shoes and just kept walking, until I reached the exit. Took out a tissue and wipe away my tears, I couldn't stop crying...

In the car.. I was still unstable.. it's unexplainable..I have no idea why I can be so emotional. I kept asking God, why, God why am I crying? I don't even know her.. but... I do know the pain of not having my loved one around, not able to see him and hear him... I do know how much my boss can miss her mum.. just like how we all miss our daddy.

I am praying even more desperately for the salvation of my mum & brother. I want them to know God, I want them to experience the peace that comes from believing in Jesus Christ. Very often, we like to ask "where does the dead go to?" but we are never brave enough to face the real answer. There's freedom when we know the truth, there's a greater purpose and destiny, if we know the truth.

We may not know HOW we will go, but we can know WHERE we will go to. :)