Connecting the dots

When I was drafting my resignation letter, by amending the last one I wrote to HP. I realised, there were more than 1 mistake, grammar, sentence structure etc. It's so strange! I realised, after 1 year 8 months, I could write formal letter in a better tone and manner? Hmmm...

Honestly, when I look at my old resume, the format and the writing style, and compared to my current one. Well, I know I've grown. :) I'm now so much better at organising data and information.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. - Steve Jobs-

Year 2006, I started my career in audit firm and stayed for 3 years. At the 3 years mark, I had no doubts to tender my resignation letter, without a job. It was the subprime mortgage crisis where companies were freezing recruitment. Partner of the audit firm thought I was a fool, but I showed them I have the guts to do it. I am not fearful of the unstable economy because I trust in my God. I even turned down the option to transfer to the Corporate Finance department because I felt the peace to leave.. and knew it was God leading my way. "When the oceans rise and thunders roar, I will soar with You above the storm.. Father you are king over the flood, I will be still, know you are God...." :)

I was jobless for 6 months. Those were heartbreaking 6 months. I teared so much, thought I was such a failure, started to doubt whether I made the right move. :S By God's grace and mercy, I used that time to familiarise myself with mum's office accounts and slowly help them clear the backlogs since 2001! I volunteered in church office helping with minor administrative work as well. I managed to visit Shin Wee in Singapore and went for Anne's graduation in UK.

November 2009, I managed to enter the workforce again, recommended by an ex-EY colleague. HP was my 2nd home. It is all the way in Cyberjaya, but I made so many great friends. Well, work was quite bad to be honest. Monotonous daily sales projection report... I forgot how bad it was until recently I found an email I wrote to my ex-EY close colleagues about my situation in HP. I said, I rotated the daily report with another girl, when it's her turn, I just click and click on my laptop the whole day until it is time to go home. :S Well, it was also during this free-time, I started a spreadsheet to monitor my monthly expenditure. I couldn't be more happy I started this habit and I still update the spreadsheet until today!

April 2010, after 5 months, I was recommended by a friend from Acts Church to try for this position in ACG. It's 10 minutes from home and they pay me good travel allowance. I thought it's a way out of HP so I took it. I still don't know whether I made the right choice here, but I have to keep moving forward. I admit I did consider returning to HP during my job search time..... I do miss the nice environment, flexi work from home option, free daily breakfast provided... and of course the computer facilities. Everytime I search for a job, I prayed that God will close all doors that're not supposed to open, and only open one door, which no man can shut. :) I believe F&N is where God wants to place me at this time.. because all other doors are shut. I applied to so many I tell you... I felt God was hardening hearts, so that the other doors remain shut....

During the most difficult period i.e. waiting period, I always remember, Shin Yee once said to me, God is not so much about blessing us, but He is after our hearts. :) I started a short prayer & fast last last week, I fasted Facebook and tried to go to a quiet corner in office to pray. :) God is also after our character. He knows I feel shameful of working at my current company, the chinaman culture and my low pay.... one night last week I felt I need to stay confident! My job doesn't define me! I openly wrote down my work experiences in Linkedin after being reluctant for some weeks. :) God is good. He never give me more than what I can handle. My breakthrough came when F&N called on 9th November 2011.

When I started job search in August 2011, I told God, I want to be in my new job before year end. I can't afford to go through another round of year end, facing the auditors, doing the meaningless checking on the draft accounts, dealing with FRS compliance and disclosures..... after months of fruitless search, I thought maybe God wants me to stay through year end, afterall I get to receive my bonus. So 50% of me wanted to get out by year end, 50% of me wanted to stay through it so could receive bonus. God knows me so well... F&N wants me to join not later than 13th December, and when I tell them about my bonus, they were willing to pay me! Hallelujah!!!!

What have I learnt throughout these years?
- When you're in audit firm, doesn't mean your experiences equals another person from audit firm. You might be assigned under different manager, different job, different size of the job etc.. thus you'll be moulded differently.
- HP is considered a very generous and least calculative employer I've ever worked with. If I was given a more lifely role, I would've stayed on... they encourage job transfers after 12-18 months which is pretty cool!
- Working in cosmetics company is definitely not as cool as it sounds! Having the professional investors involved, doesn't mean the company deals with issues professionally. We have the most narrow minded people here. A profitable company, but a stingy culture.

It'll be a new beginning for me starting next month. I hope I will still have time to update my blog. I hope I'll be walking on greener pastures! And this time for at least 3 years unmoved. :) Cheers to a new journey!